The persistence of a distinctly gendered division of domestic labor in Western societies remains puzzling. Beyond standard economic and normative explanations, more recent approaches emphasize affective, cognitive, and incorporated aspects of housework and the production, reproduction, and negotiation of gendered expectations via social interactions. However, the relevant indicators for these more implicit mechanisms are not routinely included in social surveys. Based on a unique set of items and a representative sample of heterosexual couples (N=1,396) from pairfam data (German Family Panel) (wave 10), we contribute to this research by analyzing the mutual effects of both partners’ enjoyment, quality standards, and reciprocally perceived competencies on the division of domestic labor. An actor-partner interdependence model (APIM) is applied, which is adequate methodologically to model the partner dyad. Both an actor’s own and their partner’s assessments of competences and preferences – and particularly men’s attributes and perceptions – prove to be powerful and statistically significant predictors of the division of domestic labor. The results contribute quantitative evidence on processes of doing and undoing gender in context.