The Laschamps geomagnetic excursion (~41-42 ka BP) represents the largest geomagnetic field collapse in the past 800,000 years, driving documented megafaunal extinctions, Neanderthal extinction, Northern Hemisphere ice sheet expansion, and global ecological disruption confirmed across 30+ sediment cores, ice cores, and fossil archives. Yet the EPICA Dome C (EDC) atmospheric CO₂ record-the gold-standard paleoclimate archive for this period-shows no corresponding anomaly. CO₂ remains constrained to approximately 193-206 ppmv throughout the excursion window, with the excursion core (40.5-41.5 ka) at 200-204 ppmv, exhibiting a maximum attributable ΔCO₂ indistinguishable from zero within measurement uncertainty (±2-3 ppmv). This paper presents the first systematic quantitative CO₂-null test across all five best-documented Brunhes Chron geomagnetic excursions-Laschamps (~41 ka), Mono Lake (~33 ka), Blake (~116 ka), Iceland Basin (~190 ka), and Pringle Falls (~211 ka)-using exclusively raw NOAA/WDS proxy data: the Bereiter et al. (2015) EPICA EDC CO₂ composite and the Bauska, Marcott & Brook (2021) WAIS Divide record. All five events show ΔCO₂ = 0 within measurement uncertainty, spanning background CO₂ states from 195 to 245 ppmv and both glacial and interglacial Marine Isotope Stage contexts. The null is confirmed by two independent ice cores from geographically distinct Antarctic drilling programs with independent age models. The WAIS Divide record, with ~40-80-year temporal resolution against EDC's ~200-350-year resolution, confirms the null at higher precision. An internal calibration demonstrates that the same EDC dataset successfully resolves the Younger Dryas CO₂ decline (−10 to −15 ppmv over ~1,200 years), establishing that the excursion nulls reflect a genuine absence of response, not a resolution artifact. Six pre-emptive technical defenses are presented: (1) the Parrenin et al. (2013) gas-age chronology revision applies to Termination I, not to the Laschamps window, and asks an orthogonal question; (2) resolution is demonstrably adequate via the Younger Dryas calibration; (3) the WAIS Divide crosscheck confirms the null independently; (4) the ¹ Be cosmogenic ⁰ production record provides a chemically independent timing anchor that eliminates the timingartifact objection; (5) excursion selection criteria are documented a priori and applied uniformlyno qualifying event was excluded; and (6) formal statistical testing of detrended CO₂ residuals confirms the null at all five events, with all residuals negative-the opposite direction from any geomagnetic CO₂ amplification mechanism. Three structural findings emerge beyond the null result itself. First, geomagnetic excursions exhibit an epicenter-aftershock-secondary oscillation structure: the Laschamps (~41 ka)-Mono Lake (~33 ka) pair, separated by ~8 kyr (the outer core viscous relaxation timescale), constitutes an epicenter-primary aftershock sequence confirmed independently in the Cooper et al. (2021)